Today in my journaling, I thought I heard the Lord say He wanted to talk to me about my attitude. I almost didn't begin writing because I thought my attitude was fine. As I wrote, though, thoughts began to come about things I do because I know they are the right things to do and need to be done, or even because I want to bless someone, but then I begin to get resentful and to dread doing them because it takes so much time. Sometimes I realize I'm looking for response and I don't see it, or I am selfishly wanting the time to myself. Sometimes I am overextending my ability to do everything that needs to be done. As I began to think along these lines, I realized I really do need an attitude adjustment.
The realization came (was that the Lord helping me to see?) that I usually start things with the right motivation, but often end up with the wrong attitude about doing them. I know in my head that everything I do can be an opportunity to show God's love to others, but I wonder if doing those things, or helping others with a resentful, selfish attitude even though I start out with the attitude of blessing the person, is actually furthering God's kingdom. He says He looks on the heart. Could it be that doing good things with a wrong attitude in my heart is even less productive for the Kingdom than not doing them at all? Selfishness, resentment, irritation, moodiness, criticism, etc. are not attributes of God's Kingdom, but of Satan's. Am I furthering the devil's agenda by allowing bad thoughts to control my attitude as I try to go about doing good?
Forgive me, Jesus, for not seeing this. Thank you for showing me that I truly have been needing an attitude adjustment. Help me to see that every little thing I do in love can be an offering to You to help further your kingdom--ironing clothes for Country Guy, pulling weeds and mulching my garden to make it more beautiful for all who visit to enjoy, baking cookies for the grandchildren, taking someone to lunch--all can be used for your honor and glory if I don't allow negative thoughts to spoil the offering. Thank you for allowing me to participate with You in spreading Your love to others. Help me to reject the negative, selfish thoughts and to replace them with Your thoughts. Let Philippians 4:8 be my testimony: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
Thank you, Lord, for not letting me continue on my merry way thinking my bad attitude was all right because my intentions were to do good.